


That's Not Decorating (1)

by famgrill_sinner



Series: South Park Winter [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Been a hot minute since the last fic huh?, Holiday Oneshot, Just has swearing, Lowkey gay but not really, M/M, Not really ship but uh, doing my best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 12:19:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16810462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/famgrill_sinner/pseuds/famgrill_sinner
Summary: Day 1 of SP Winter onshots. Prompt: Getting out/putting up decorations..Covering the Stotch house in toilet paper isn't Christmas decorating, but Cartman doesn't know any better.





	That's Not Decorating (1)

**Author's Note:**

> Been a hot minute since a story, sorry bout that.  
> This year, same prompts, just,,, a different fandom I guess.

Most people wouldn’t consider throwing toilet paper at someones house as Christmas decoration. But then again, Eric Cartman isn’t most people. Considering all the stuff he’s done; throwing toilet paper onto poor Butters house was _nothing_. That yellow scarf his mom made him was wrapped around his mouth to consicle the boys identity. Not like you could mistake Cartman for anyone else with his thicker than average body and that bright jacket he still wore.

"This is gonna be so sweet.” He breathed out looking down the street to make sure there were no cars or drunk adults going about. For the sake of Cartman, there wasn’t. Which would just end up making it harder on the Scotch house. He laughed as he ripped open the package and took out the first roll. Turning it around in his yellow glove covered hands, he considered not doing this. Butters would get yelled at but then again; it’s _Cartman_. Which is probably why he pulled his arm back and watched the toilet paper fly from his grasp and into the tree that was outside the blondes house.

“A perfect throw.” Cartman said with a breathy laugh grabbing another roll. Two more were thrown into the tree, all at perfect angles to make it look like someone spent hours putting them into the snow covered branches, the rest went to the Scotch house. It wasn’t a big bag of them, no more than ten rolls were in the package but all of them went to his house.

Strung across the back in a perfect fashion, it looked like there was a whole group of people throwing them. Nope. Although Cartman could eat as much as a group of people could it was just himself. Snapping a picture of his work, he threw the bag on the ground and snuck back to his house.

“His dad is going to be so pissed.” Cartman laughed as he jogged down the sidewalk back to the safety of his house.

.

The next day was relatively quiet. Nobody mentioned the greatest TP-ing the town has seen since they were in fourth grade even though he kept mentioning it. The next few days went by like that. Nobody said anything about it, heck, nothing was heard from Butters. It was four days after the incident that Cartman finally decided to bring it up.

“What’s up homos? Hear anything about that _wicked_ toilet papering at Butters’ from couple days ago?” Cartman greated slamming his tray on the table that was covered in drawings of penises and etchings of past loves. And more penises. Throwing his leg over the bench Cartman sat down and picked up his burger. That wasn’t the best thing to greet your friends with but that’s just how it is with him.

“Don’t call us that.” Stan said poking around his plate, honestly that cube mystery meat wasn’t interesting. Didn’t even know why he got it. “You’re the gay one.” He quietly added before passing the tray to Kenny. Stan wasn’t going to eat it, might as well give it to Kenny who was staring at the empty seat where Butters normally sat.

“Dude you didn’t hear?” Kyle said covering his mouth with his hand to coneile the fact he was eating and trying to talk. Cartman took a bite from his burger and raised his eyebrows as in a ‘go on’ fashion. Honestly he just wanted to eat this burger and not worry about speaking. After a second Kyle swallowed the sandwich he was eating and nodded.

“Butters got grounded, like, really bad this time. Won’t answer his phone.” Kyle conutined pulling out his phone to show the proof. Cartman felt his mouth become dry and shivered slightly. The screen had at least thirty texts from Kyle to Butters, no response for any of them; they weren't even opened. “We’re all super worried, glad you _finally_ decided to show an interest.”

That single bite of the burger felt like it was weighing him down. Cartman hated to feel like this. The emotion of dread and (dare I say) concern was too much for him normally. God knows how it is now. It wasn’t as if he could just go to his house to make sure he was okay. Butters’ dad wasn’t the easiest person to be around. Hell, Cartman won’t lie, he scared him.

“Dude I thought he was just sick.” Stan said turning to face Kyle who was sending the blonde another text.

“No way. Comes to school when he’s sick. You don’t think…. it involves?” Kenny asked letting the sentence trail off as he raised the fork with a chunk of brown meat on the end to his mouth. He didn’t dare eat it. Let alone finish that sentence. Everyone knew the answer.

_Stephen_.

Cartman went to stand up from the bench, setting the burger down and managing to swallow the small bite of burger he was eating. It was an awkward way to stand up, his leg got caught simply because he felt like shit over it. His legs didn’t want to work but he needed to leave school and plan for tonight.

“Dude where the hell are you going?” Kyle asked watching Cartman stumble. He reached under the table for his bag, quickly zipping it up (Jesus are his hands shaking?) then hoisting it on his back. Cartman shoved the tray into Kennys and almost knocked it off the table.

“Blowing this joint. Tell the teacher to suck it.” Cartman said was a dry laugh. Why was he so nervous? He’s not scared, well, at least not for _himself_. He was scared for _Butters_. This was his fault after all. It was probably about the toilet paper. No shit it was about the toilet paper. Stephen blamed Butters even though he was probably locked in his room

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Stan said watching Cartman spin on his heel and walk away from the table they all shared, now it was missing two people.

“You know I will!” Cartman called over his shoulder as he left the lunchroom.

.

The rest of the day couldn’t have gone by any slower. Right after he left school he rushed over to the store and ran down the isles praying they still had the things that could solve this problem. Cartman even shoved a lady to the side to assure he was the one to get it. Self checkout was down which forced him to go in line with some asshole named ‘Chuck’ who took forever to scan the items. Making sure (almost) everything was payed for Cartman rushed out the store and back to his house.

“Oh hello Eric. You’re home early. Want something to eat?” Liane greated as she was mixing something in a bowl, probably her famous double stuffed brownies that literally everyone in the town wanted. She’d be busy with those for a while.

“Not now mom, on a mission.” Cartman replied slipping off his snow covered shoes and kicking them aside. He didn’t have time to eat, needed to figure out how he was going to go about this tonight. There was going to have a lot of planning behind it.

“Make sure to do your homework! Have fun muffin!” She said in a that sing-song voice she always used. Cartman just mumbled an ‘okay mom’ as he ran up the stairs with that plastic bag sticking out of his black backpack.

With a hefty thump, he set the backpack down and shut the door then pulled out that bag. He needed to get this together and make sure he was doing okay for tonight. Gonna make this shit right even if it got Butters into more trouble from it.

He opened the bag and took out the many strings of christmas lights out. He was going to decorate the house the right way.

.

“Dude you look like shit.” Was the first thing out of Kennys mouth at the bus stop. To put it simply, Cartman did. Got next to no sleep last night, maybe twenty minutes? In his defense; Cartman was outside trying to get the last of the toilet paper off of the Scotch house and put up those lights. His mom would be upset that the electricity bill went up since they were connected to his house but that would be fine.

“At least I’m not poor.” Cartman said adjusting the yellow scarf so it he could nestle his face into it. He could already feel himself getting sick, which wasn’t the best way to start off the holiday season but I digress. Kenny just laughed in response.

“Just don’t give us your aids dude.” Kenny snarked going back to whatever he was reading. Knowing Kenny it was something he shouldn’t read in public. Cartman flipped him off and pulled out his phone. Four missed calls from Kyle? What did he need that required him to speak? With a glove covered hand he dialed his number. It rang once, twice-

_“Where in the hell are you?”_ Kyle asked in a fast tone. Someone spoke in the background, sounded like Stan but he wasn’t sure.

“At the bus. Can’t believe the Jew is going to skip school.” Cartman responded noticing Kenny close his book and step closer to eavesdrop. Can’t respect his privacy, he’s on the phone. Then again, it was on speaker as always.

_“Shut up fatass. It’s Butters house.”_ Kyle said with Stan adding something in the background, still unable to hear him. Probably cause Kyle didn’t talk on speaker like all normal do.

Cartman paused for a second, Kenny shot him a worried glance and Cartman audibly swallowed. “We’ll be right there.” Then he hung up.

Kenny and Cartman made their way over to the Stotch residence at a pretty fast pace. Nobody has heard from Butters in the past five days, this had to be important. Kyle even called him about it. That never happens.

His house looked just as good as it did last night. The sun still hasn’t come up all the way, just softly casting a warm orange glow on the house but you could still see the lights. Red, green, blue and white coated the house in an elaborate pattern. All strung together not with a single piece of toilet paper in sight. It look like something a professional would do. Not something from Eric “fatass” Cartman.

“Who the hell did this.” Stan breathed out pulling out his phone and taking a picture of the stunning lights. Cartman blew the last of his birthday money on the lights and he was glad he did. Kenny breathed a ‘woah dude’ as he looked at the house which was once covered in toilet paper. Then there was a rustle of movement from behind the curtain.

You could feel the stillness in the cold winter air, the only thing to be heard was the soft humming of the lights and their own heartbeats. All you could see was his frail pale hand as it shakley put a piece of paper at the window. It was a note written in black marker, in that bubbly writing he always used, yep it was Butters alright.

_“Sorry for not responding!! Don’t worry bout me, be out tomorrow!”_ The note was flipped for another one. _“Dad was awful sore for the tp-ing! Said I shouldn’t do that anymore.”_

“It wasn’t him, what the hell is Stephen doing?” Stan said giving an upset gesture at the house. Specifically at Stephens window. That was a very good question; what was Stephens thought process. The paper was exchanged for another one.

_“I’ll be okay fellas, honest! I will text back asap.”_ That made Kyle let out a sigh of relief. Cartman did too, sadly, Kenny noticed so he had to play it off as an ‘it’s cold’ thing. The paper flipped again and nearly killed Cartman.

_“Thanks for the lights Eric!”_ And it was accompanied with a red heart and a smiley face. Of course Butters saw him put up the lights, not like he had anything else to do at three-a.m. on a school night while trapped in his room.

“You… did this?” Kyle asked turning to the fat boy once the paper was removed and the curtain was left alone as if it wasn’t touched in the first place. Now that Kyle said that, everyone else turned to face him. Cartman's already rosey cheeks depend at least four shades at the eyes on him and Butters’ paper.

“Yeah I did.” Cartman mumbled kicking at the snow while burying his face in the scarf even more. “I won’t do it for you homos, don’t even think about asking me.”

After a solid minute of silence, nothing from Cartman or the window, Kenny laughed and pointed at the red jacket wearing.

“It’s a holiday miracle! Fatass has emotions!”

**Author's Note:**

> Ooc who?? Okay but hear me out: Butters is valid and I love him


End file.
